


hopeful undertone

by marsakat



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Developing Friendships, Early Days, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Internalized Biphobia, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 16:53:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21341542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marsakat/pseuds/marsakat
Summary: Tyler insists she had a worse time growing up being made fun of for her name, while Jos respectfully disagrees and also pines for her new friend.
Relationships: Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	hopeful undertone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [watchcatewrite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/watchcatewrite/gifts).

> i’ve always wanted to write lady pilots and i’ve been told by some friends to make good on that promise.

Sleepovers were never really something Jos grew up allowed to do. People seem surprised by this fact, along with the realization that she had only celebrated Halloween a handful of times. It wasn’t evident in how relaxed her parents had become after four kids— their currently mellow attitudes were a far cry from how strict they had been on their eldest. Unless someone was fully vetted, Jos had to be picked up promptly at 9pm, 10pm once she was in middle school— and leave behind the other girls who undoubtedly giggled, making rumors as to why she wasn’t allowed to stay. 

Even in conversations when Jos had gotten older, able to speak to her parents without as much anger as in her teenage years, she couldn’t really ascertain why they had insisted that she couldn’t spend the night at other people’s houses. Every reason they presented was picked apart; Jos’s anxiety— she wasn’t prone to night terrors and never had a problem when she stayed at places that weren’t her parents’ house; all the bad things girls get up to at sleepovers— these were church friends and kids from her conservative Christian school. They were far from troublemakers. 

In fact, the lack of reason and strict rules were why Jos had acted up so much once she hit adolescence. She was glad to have outgrown her anger and reached a place of balance with her parents, but Jos knew she wasn’t entirely to blame for her behavior. Regardless, the past was in the past and as an adult, she could do whatever she wanted with only minimal buzzing from her parents about their thoughts about Jos’s life decisions.

In her opinion, she had turned out okay, despite her strict upbringing and subsequent rebellion. Sure, everyone held baggage from their childhood, but Jos at least didn’t have any weird holdovers about sleepovers. It wasn’t until 3am that she realized that her one-on-one ‘chill sesh’ with Tyler had in fact, turned into a sleepover.

A sleepover without sleep— how quintessential. 

The first night they hung out, they bonded over how much they didn’t like their names. Cursed with complication and years of teasing, both could commiserate over the suffering at the hands of their peers who looked for anything to tease about. 

“Josephina Wilhelmina Dun. The first two names are  sooo long, and then my last name is itty bitty. My full name is so...” Jos proclaimed, stretching her legs out on the couch, her socked toes catching her new best friend’s knee. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

The hour was late and both were lazy from the whole pizza they split. They were sunken into the cushions, a lull in energy that could possibly lead to sleep— though the thrill of connecting with someone so easily was powering them through the drowsiness. 

“S’alright.” Tyler reassured. “It’s unbalanced.”

“What is?”

“Your name.”

“Oh duh, yeah,” Jos yawned, smiling and stretching again— Tyler didn’t seem care about her knee getting bumped a second time. She continued to twirl her hair between her thumb and index finger, absently playing with the tendril she always sought out. It was warm, but not overbearingly hot— spring just starting to turn into summer, and the lack of air conditioning put them comfortably into shorts and tank tops. 

“You’ve got all these letters in front and then ‘Dun’ is a single syllable. It’s like someone ran out of breath while saying your name.”

“Yeah,  exactly,” Jos nodded. “You get it. So what’s your full name? ... if you claim that you got bullied even more than me.”

“Tyler Robin Joseph,” Tyler admitted. “It’s the fact that all three of my names are “boys names”... that’s why.” She emphasized with air quotes, putting on a mocking, childish voice. 

“I mean, you’re not the first girl Tyler that I’ve met. The name is pretty unisex.” 

“Yeah, and that’s why my mom was okay with it. The family story goes that I almost died when I was a baby, and the doctor who saved me had a kid who was also named Tyler, so she named me the name he liked... and here we are.”

“How come you didn’t go by your middle name?”

“Too many Batman and Robin jokes, so I stuck with being Tyler.”

“Well, I like it,” Jos insisted. 

Tyler smiled and then it turned into a yawn which melodiously turned into a “thank you.” A few seconds later, she got a distant look in her eye that Jos grew to understand meant that Tyler was having a Big Idea. 

“You know… when we get married, your name would be Josephina Joseph,” Tyler proclaimed with the half-asleep air of someone who believes they’re having a groundbreaking thought. 

Jos was tired enough to find everything about the last sentence absolutely hysterical. Cracking up, she covered her face to laugh towards the ceiling, forgetting about Tyler’s sleeping roommates. She could hear her cackle joining in, the two of them tipsy with the lateness of the hour. 

“Okay,” Jos wiped her eyes with her forearm, capturing some of the tears that had leaked out. “First of all, that is an improvement with what I’ve been living with my whole life. And second of all— ‘when’?”

“Oops,” Tyler grimaced, “I’m uh…I’m really tired, okay? Words aren’t my strong suit right now.”

Jos didn’t let her slide, playing along with the train of thought. “How come I’m the one giving up my last name? If anything, it’s the first two words of my name that I have more of an issue with… We could hyphenate.”

Tyler tilted her mouth to the left, thinking again. Jos noted how her eyebrows furrowed and lips pouted even more. 

“How about we swap names? I could be Tyler Dun and you could be Jos Joseph,” Tyler suggested. 

Jos edged closer, Tyler lifted her legs up so Jos could settle with her bare calves on her lap. It was a big move being allowed to touch for the first time, and it was accepted easily— Jos learned later how reluctant Tyler was with touches, but she relaxed so easily around her. 

Jos submerged herself into the cushions again, accepted. “How about we combine our last names?” 

“Dunseph.”

“Jun.”

“Doseph.”

“Josun.”

“Duph.”

“Junseph.”

Each suggestion sent them into gales of laughter. 

“I think we’re going to have to admit,” Jos said, wiping more tears from yawing and giggling, away from her cheeks, “that it’s practically impossible to combine our last names in a way that our kids won’t be made fun of.”

“Hey, if we had to suffer, so do they.”

“That’s how I was raised.”

Tyler fistbumped her. “This is why we’re meant to be best friends.”

“I thought we were getting married?” Jos nudged her playfully, ignoring the skipping beat of her heart at the joke she felt daring in continuing. 

Tyler looked dead serious, and Jos had a flash of fear until she spoke. “ Of course , we’re getting married, it’s just that we should really have a solid friendship beforehand. That’s important to me.”

“It’s important to me, too,” Jos found all she could make was a whisper, and even though it was a joke, though maybe not entirely for her, it was a moment of quiet intensity between them. 

Attraction to girls was always something in the background of Jos’s heart and mind. She felt a pull and adoration for certain pretty cartoon characters and princesses before she even knew what it meant. There was a girl she tried to kiss in kindergarten, wanting to express the bubble of warmth and happiness Jos felt whenever they held hands and ran through the playground together. 

The girl giggled and said — “ Ew! ”—though even now Jos wasn’t sure if it was just because all kids found kissing gross at that age, or if it was the fact it was her doing it. The scolding from the lunch aide was the first time she was told to hide it, to hide the crushes she had. 

And it was easy to pretend that she didn’t feel attraction to other girls, when she had that other part of her that was drawn to boys, too. Jos dated boys in high school and after. She could hide parts of her away and neglect to mention it to others. Making out with girls while drunk at parties was acceptable, titillating for guys, but afterwards she found herself thinking longingly and gently about those scandalous moments. 

Everything about yearning for romance with another woman was forbidden. It was her dark secret, from even herself. Temptation came in the form of a crooked smile, pointed nose, tanned skin, and the most interesting person she had ever met. 

Getting to know Tyler and realize that they were utterly compatible was one of the most fulfilling and terrifying experiences of Jos’ life. It was a dangerous game, a minefield that she couldn’t stay away from. It hurt to think that Tyler could all be joking about marrying her, but was torture to wonder if maybe she  meant it . 

But Jos wasn’t going to do anything to prevent herself tumbling further and further down the hole of infatuation. She was ready to spend a lifetime of pining if it meant that she was still at least able to be close to Tyler. 

However, with Tyler draped over her and hand seeking out hers, Jos allowed herself the slightest hint of hope. Maybe there was a chance, but for now, they belonged to the night, staying awake beyond the breaking of dawn. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Been wanting to write this for awhile and also just to put something out that makes me happy regardless of how short it is. Thank you to argentress for always being there to talk to me about Josler. 
> 
> Can you believe this is my 99th fic? I’ve got a fic I’m super excited to do for #100. 
> 
> Also, hey I went to two shows this past leg and got to hold up Tyler AND JOSH! I’ve never gotten to do that before and I’m so elated, still. Suffering already because I don’t know when I’ll see them next. 
> 
> teeentyonepilots on tumblr and trenchtowel on twitter.


End file.
